Over the past few months I’ve received so many “no, we can’t help you”, “no, it’s impossible”, “no, we don’t collaborate with other brands”, “no, it’s not our style”, “no, sorry..”, “no”, “no!”, “no..”, and I was asking only for something very small and not for free… It has happened to me so many times that I’m not counting them anymore. I’m so sick and tired from all those people who are kind and beautiful from the outside and absolutely ugly and disgusting inside.
All this time I was trying to be kind and nice to everyone, no matter who they were. Without rest, without sleep, without any vacation or time for me or at least for my husband. All the time working for others, from all my heart and very often without any financial benefits (!) and naively expecting to receive the same feedback. Because I always thought if you are doing something as best as you can and as sincere as possible people will see that and they will appreciate that. But they don’t see it. They don’t care about you. They using you only to reach their own goals and anything else just simply doesn’t matter.
It seems that I live in a world which is not mine, which is so toxic that I want to get out from it somehow. As far as possible from all those fake smiles and fake lives with the same vacation spots, same brand promoting and same stupid selfies. How anyone creative could be spotted when all the eyes are on the same 10-20 bloggers/”besties” all the time?! There’s a circle of those privileged people and the rest is out of the game. Nobody cares about creativity, the most important thing here is the number of the followers or contacts with key people in business. So how to get in if you don’t have these things yet? Mission impossible?
Just try to imagine how hard it is to fight each day for your dreams without any support or understanding from others. When you want to be heard to be spotted but it’s the same like trying to scream in a water. When you have only one camera and two lenses, when you can travel only once in a year or even in two years and of course only with your own money without any support from anyone else, while other privileged bloggers have the best possible equipment for taking photos, live in the best hotels and have big teams for everything. This is simply not comparable..
But you know what? Maybe I’m the stupidest person in the whole world but I truly believe that this should end up somehow someday. People must finally open their eyes because all this vanity fair full of arrogance and selfishness just gone too far, really too far..
If anyone thinks that I’m going to give up, I won’t. I just wanted to put my thoughts here even nobody’s listening. I just needed to write everything down, because I can’t keep this all inside of me anymore…
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